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Look, in truth, just like most people – including Sistas – work for somebody else for a living, most Blue Collar Brothas work for someone else for a living, and there’s nothing in the least bit wrong with that. It’s one thing to have a preference (and for the record, fellas reading along: please do not ever attempt to “convince” a woman to go out with you) – but it’s something else to evince bigotry onto others, to profile them, to enervate them, simply because they’re not to your liking.The vast majority of Educated Sistas, at best, work in middle management positions – they are hardly the HNICs of their organizations, more often than not – so why the own the company he works for or something? Yes, you read that right – I did indeed use the words “bigotry” and “profiling” – because that’s exactly what so many college-educated, professional (in this case Black, but by no means are they alone) women, do, to Blue Collar Guys like myself.By all accounts, Brothas, Blue Collar and otherwise, have left the building a long time ago.I’ve written about how so many Brothas, Blue Collar and otherwise, have been quietly voting with their feet for quite some time now; Sistas of a Certain Cohort have made it all too-clear as to which Brothas are to step up front, and which who needn’t apply – and the Brothas have listened to you.But, the problem that I have with these kinds of “the sky is falling” discussions, such as the recent one in the Atlantic and that which occurs all the time in Black America, is the glaring assumptions that are made about Blue Collar Guys in such a broadstroke manner, and the fact that for all the handwringing and alarmist chatter, no one has actually deigned to talk to Blue Collar Guys themselves, and to hear, in their own voices, what, if anything, they have to say about the matter.Please, don’t take my word for it – do up a Google search or two yourself.From my own personal experience, and by no means something I set out to prove for myself, I’ve found that often, I’ve read more and more widely, than quite a few formally educated ladies I’ve come across – but since when did the facts ever get in the way of stereotypes, hmm?Then there’s the following well worn trope: “I’ll date a Blue Colla Brotha he owns his own business” – yea – like girlfriend in question is the next Oprah, or something.
Simply put, Blue Collar Guys like me, have been and continue to be talked about but never talked to; we’re stereotyped and objectified, seen as the oh-so-awesome You Go Grrl’s “Plan D,” often their last stop on the way to Verified Spinstahood.
While this kind of news is a bit of a shock to our White brothers and sisters, it is by no means anything new to us Brothas and Sistas – indeed, it has been the broken record soundtrack of many of our lives, at least mine.
If I had a dollar for every time I’d seen, heard or read from or about Sistas being in the unenviable position of having it all except an “equal” who was “on their level” I’d never again have to work anywhere.
I’ve personally either witnessed, or experienced, those Sistas (again, NOT “all”) who act as if they’re doing you some grand gesture, by “giving you a chance” – the same Sistas who make up the client rolls of “relationship experts,” and keep the same kinds of book on the New York Times’ bestseller’s lists, bemoaning where “all the good Men have gone”; am I the only one who sees the Great Irony here?
I for one will pass on that kind of Noblese Oblige, thank you very much.
Two, not all Sistas feel that they are slumming it or dating/mating/marrying down when paired off with a Blue Collar Brotha.